The Four Burner Theory & The Myth of Having it All.

This is one for all you over-achievers out there.

And for the rest of us whose brains feel like they have too many damn tabs open. All at the same time.

The Four Burner Theory originated from a piece written by David Sedaris in The New Yorker, back in 2009. He described it thus:

 “One burner represents your family, one is your friends, the third is your health, and the fourth is your work.” The premise of the theory is in order to be successful you have to cut off one of your burners. And in order to be really successful you have to cut off two.

We can’t do everything well – at least, not at the same time. Which is why it can be an excellent idea to occasionally stop and prioritise what really matters to you at this stage in your life and adjust your burners accordingly.

Trying to start a business? Maybe your social life might need to be put on ice for a while.

Just had a kid? Sure, look after yourself. But don’t stress about the lack of six pack or your Houdini routine at the gym. You just created a human being for goodness sake – those ab crunches can wait.

Overworked and feeling lonely? Prioritise your friendships – because you know that no one on their deathbed said they wish they spent more time checking their email.

And if you really want to do something extra bad, turn off 2 of the burners completely and hustle as hard as you fancy. Because, strangely enough all this work/life balance bullsh*t might not in fact be the happy pill we expect it to be. Author Mathew Kelly, as part of the research for his book, asked 10,000 people: ‘If you had to choose between balance and satisfaction, which would you choose?’ Every single person asked chose satisfaction over balance.

So, maybe balance isn’t the answer. Maybe it’s simply finding more time to do the things that brings us satisfaction and less time doing the things that don’t.

This week, which of your four burners is going to make that happen for you?

This GET HAPPIER tip is brought to you by someone who has been tempted to turn the gas supply off at the mains and go back to bed for a week.