The Confusing Truth About Good Habits.

When it comes to propelling oneself forward in life, good habits are the holy grail.

Whether it be regular exercise, drinking enough water, getting enough sleep or saying ‘No’ to the nicotine monster, once an action is repeated enough it becomes unconscious. Which means we no longer need to rely on our unreliable mate ‘motivation’.

We just do it – Easily!

The confusing (and slightly annoying) bit about habits is that we are wonderfully adaptive creatures. The more we do something the less of an impact it has on us. This is known in exercise/science research circles as:

‘The Repeated Bout Effect’ – Your body’s response to a stimulus decreases with each bout.’

So, whilst the carb-free, paleo-tastic new eating plan might see you shed weight quickly, once your body adapts to the new plan you tend to plateau. Which is usually the point most of us go – F*ck this! You mean I have to eat like this for the rest of my life just to stay the exact same size – and run off into the sunset with a bread roll the size of our head.

Same thing with exercise. Do the same routine over and over again and after the initial improvements your body adapts and you only maintain muscle but don’t build more. Which is why those 30-day push up challenges (that I never get tagged in) are all the rage for those fitness peeps looking to mix it UP.

Most of us will be familiar with the plateau effect when it comes to our health and fitness goals, but I was interested in exploring how the ‘repeated bout’ effect is also something that shows up in other aspects of our lives and how by noticing it we can make shifts and decisions that work more strongly in our favour.

Money/Finances: When it comes to buying new stuff, the ‘repeated bout’ effect pretty much parallels the ‘hedonic treadmill’ effect (‘the observed tendency of humans to quickly return to a relatively stable level of happiness despite major positive or negative events or life changes’.) After that first orgasmic thrill, you soon get used to those new shoes and a few weeks in are no happier or sadder than you were before. So, I am not saying don’t buy the new shoes, I am just offering a gentle reminder that retail therapy is only a temporary fix and the more regularly you do it, the less joy it will bring. So, splurge less often to get the maximum bang for your hedonic buck.

Sex/Relationships: Anyone in a long term relationship will recognize the ‘repeated bout’ effect well. Once the initial oxytocin frenzy reduces to a simmer, we can usually observe our partners in a state of half-undress without wanting to tear off their clothes with our teeth. Whilst (thankfully) this is usually replaced with deeper feelings of love and some well-earned expertise, it is worth making the effort to ensure that loving familiarity doesn’t morph into tepid complacency. James Sexton, a divorce lawyer wrote a whole book advising couples how not to end up in his office. What does he cite as the biggest danger in a long-term relationship? ‘Slippage’. We get so used our ‘stimulus’ that our response ‘decreases with each bout.’ So, mix it up my friends – do different stuff together and try and be grateful for the stuff they do instead of being fixated on the stuff that they don’t. And remember, much like the allure of those shiny new shoes, replacing one fella for another doesn’t always guarantee you a better chance at ever-after.

Adversity/Hardship: None of us is likely to go through life entirely unscathed. Sh*t happens. We get sick, we get screwed over, we lose people we love and despite our best efforts, we don’t always get the life we deserve. But – it’s exactly when we are knee-deep in the mountains of turd that we should take comfort in our ability to adapt. Our adaptability is a superpower of sorts. It is what has allowed us to roll with the Covid-infested punches that 2020 has thrown us. And, it explains why we can nearly drown with grief or have our hearts callously shattered and yet eventually get up and risk love and life all over again. Been knocked over more than your fair share? This is where the ‘repeated bout’ effect actually gives you a competitive advantage. Because what do you get when your body’s response to a stimulus decreases with each bout? Resilience, my friend.

This Get Happier post is brought to you by someone who has learnt the hard way that when life closes a door, just open it again. It’s a door, that’s how they work.

*This post was inspired by this article on the Repeated Bout Effect by James Clear.