The Death of Pretty – When Beauty is No Longer Your Most Useful Commodity.

I spent a fair chunk of my youth politely declining attention from men. Swatting away their pesky advances like one might shoo a fly that had become a bit too assumptive. They say youth is wasted on the young but it is probably true of pretty too. I became accustomed to having men watch me walk across a room. I could sit in a bar with the quiet confidence that I would not be buying my own drink. Construction Sites could be a little tedious. Ignoring the catcalls and blatant glances at my chest. The Wolf whistles or friendly calls to ‘Get-Your-Tits-Out’.

Depending on my mood, the attention was in equal parts flattering and annoying.

Now it is neither – because I can confidently walk across a room, sit at a bar or strut past a row of shirtless builders and be greeted by the deafening silence of absolutely nothing. You know what that sound is? It’s the funeral march for the death of pretty. The sad day when your feminine wiles have fucked off and left you to it.

It’s not entirely our fault. Girls grow up being complimented on their looks and we quickly learn that beauty is an easy way to assert our social power. Men are visual creatures and nothing speaks to them louder than a pretty face and a pert bosom. Women and children are not immune either – research shows babies and toddlers can identify pretty faces faster than ugly ones and attractive people are usually hired quicker, promoted faster and assumed to be more intelligent, friendly and competent.

One of the problems with being pretty is it can result in a certain lazy disregard for developing other attributes. Friends who have slept with supermodels will attest to this. Feedback is they are routinely bad in bed (which pleases us mere mortals no end). It’s not their fault – the constant adulation has no doubt led them to believe that beauty is enough – a end unto itself.

It is a sad day indeed when you realise that your male audience is actually listening to what you are saying instead of imaging you naked or what you might be like in bed. The glances now are cursory, usually from women checking out what I am wearing or deciding if I am thinner than them. That said, it does act as a quiet reminder to those still young and pretty to not let beauty be the only commodity you cultivate. Because eventually the day will come when pretty dies leaving only hindsight and wisdom in its wake.

So don’t forget to work hard behind the scenes to develop the stuff that really matters. Because Funny, Smart, Kind & Loyal are the sort of qualities you can continue to rely on – the commodities that not only go the distance but actually improve with age.

This Get Happier tip was brought to you by someone who is slightly pissed off that Charlize Theron is the same age as her. No doubt her day will come too….Eventually.