What to Say When You Talk to Yourself.

We would never talk to a friend the way we sometimes speak to ourselves. We would never call them a fat pig. Or a lazy cow. We wouldn’t remind them how stupid they are. Or berate them for being slutty or lazy. Or constantly go on about how totally awkward or rubbish at maths they are.

Sadly, we seem to have less qualms about talking to ourselves that way. Which is a shame, because the brain (beacon of genius that it might be), simply believes what you tell it the most. That bears repeating – the brain believes what you tell it the most. So if you regularly remind it of what you can’t do, and how you’ll never be any good at x or y, it will happily take that data on board and believe it to be true. Talk about a sad sack story of self-sabotage – I guess it must be true then – I really must be as dumb and useless as I keep telling myself I am!

The good news is, now that we know what a gullible fool the brain can be, we can start trying to rewire some of that negative nonsense and turning all that mental chatter to our advantage.

A clever chap, by the name of Dr. Shad Helmstetter, rather annoyingly wrote a book called, ‘What to Say When You Talk to Yourself’ (which I didn’t realise when I decided on my blog post title…whatever!) Less annoyingly, his book does outline some useful steps towards being less horrid to yourself and, seeing as he copied my blog title (in advance – told you he was clever!), I thought I’d give away some of his secrets. No purchase required 😉

Level 1: The Level of Negative Acceptance – What Are You Saying?

“I can’t _____ .”

What? Can’t start your own business? Find someone to love you? Get up earlier? Lose weight? Make millions? – First up, you need to identify the self limiting beliefs that you currently believe to be true. What are you are telling yourself that you can not do?

Level 2: The Level of Recognition and Need to Change – Doh!

“I need to …” , “I should …”

Great News! You are starting to realise you might actually have some say in this story. To make changes, what do you need to do? Do you need to write a business plan? Go back on bumble? Find a 5am friend to motivate you?

Level 3: The Level of Decision to Change – See Ya!

“I no longer …”

Bin the broken records from the past. How are you different? ‘I no longer believe I am not worthy’, ‘I no longer need to finish the whole packet of biscuits.’

Level 4: The Level of the Better You – You Better Believe It.

“I am …”

I am getting fit. I am in control of my finances. I am on my way to getting that promotion. Yes, you are.

Level 5: The Level of Universal Affirmation – Fully Up Myself Now.

“It is …”

This is the top of the self-belief tree – I don’t have any examples for you, as this is probably a branch too far for little old me – Oh, the irony!