The Gift of Heartache & The Joy of Failure

‘What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.’

Ugh.

Unlike a lot of lame inspirational quotes, this one is sad but true. And quite frankly, sometimes so much crap gets thrown our way, we honestly want to just yell, ‘Enough already! Go fling some of that sh*t at someone new!’

But, as most of you know, I am all about the bright side – so, here’s a reminder of two crap things that will not only make you stronger, but will actually make you better.

1. Having your Heart Broken: It can be hard to explain to the uninitiated how truly awful this can be. To give another person your heart, only to have it carelessly tossed aside or ruthlessly stomped on, hurts like HELL. But, I can promise you this – all the best people I know have suffered in love. Because, essentially, that is what love is – it’s a big, fat risk and you are just that girl standing in front of a boy asking him to love you. And it is not always going to go the way you want it to. But then again – it might. And therein lies the rub – with no risk my friend, there is no ultimately no reward. Which is why so many of us find a million reasons not to commit, or we get the ‘ick’ and push them away, before God forbid, they decide to push us away first. Yes – Love can be scary and hard, but it can also be fabulous and rewarding. And when it comes to finding true love, the occasional mascara stained puddle of despair, is just par for the course. If you have ever had the privilege of having your heart broken, you will know not only that it is in good working order, but will appreciate someone who cares for it even more so.
2. Failing Quite Spectacularly: Starting a business that doesn’t work, writing a book that no one wants to read, investing in an idea that ends up being more tits-up than start up. Most of us at some stage are likely to fail spectacularly at something.  So, you f*cked up – you lost that job you really wanted, you didn’t pass the exam you really needed, whatever it might be – what matters most is that you look that f*ck up in the eye and decide that instead of letting it beat you down, you will dust yourself off and move on. Because the glorious thing about failure is that it builds resilience and chips away at fear – because if we can come back from that and be OK, we can keep trying all the weird and wonderful stuff we want to do without letting fear bar the way.  Failure actually encourages better thinking –  Why didn’t that work? What can I do to improve on that? – and allows you to learn from your mistakes and move on. I would hedge a guess that those who have yet to fail, are probably playing it safe or are a little bit scaredy-cat. Which is a shame – because you know the one thing that is way worse than failure? Regret, my friend.

Despite what Forest says, life is not always like a box of chocolates. Occasionally, it’s more akin to a crate load of turd.

But you know what they say………..what doesn’t kill you…………gives you some weird coping mechanisms and a really dark sense of humour 😉

This Get Stronger post was brought to you by someone who is looking for a moisturiser that hides the fact I have been tired since 2010.