Three Things You Are (Probably) Doing Wrong

ARTICULATING YOUR GOALS: It is a widely believed notion, that if you have a goal, you should articulate it. Tell your family. Tell your friends. That way, you make yourself accountable, and more likely to follow through. NOPE! Turns out, that the very action of talking about your goals, makes you less motivated to start taking action towards them. In this short TED talk, Derek Sivers urges us to ‘delay the gratification the social acknowledgment brings,’ lest ‘your mind mistakes the talking for doing’. In our sharing economy this can be hard. So, if you must share, then do so by acknowledging the work and effort that will be required and ‘state it in a way that gives you no satisfaction.’ Par example – ‘I really need to train for this marathon. So, I need to train five times a week, and kick my ass if I don’t.’

TALKING ABOUT YOUR PAST: The past tends to get blamed for everything. Bad with money? Low Self-Esteem? Attachment issues? The root cause is usually attributed to the past – probably something your parents did (or didn’t do). Or because you were bullied, or dated that dickhead. And, sure, this may be true to some extent. But, if you continue to talk about your past and how it defines you, it won’t get a chance to behave any differently. Eminent psychologist, Albert Ellis explains it thus: ‘There is no question that our past experiences have the potential to influence greatly our present behavior, if we let them… Past events won’t become any less real or valid; we can’t change the tapes of those events. We can, however, vigorously change how we think about them.’ We don’t have to accept that the events of our past, are rigidly glued to our identity TODAY. Yes, you may have lost that fight in 2nd grade, but that doesn’t make you a weak person. Sure, Dave might have dumped you the night before prom, but that doesn’t mean you are an unlovable loser who will die alone. Be NICE to yourself. Let go of those labels (‘I’ve never been any good at games/math/speaking in public’) and keep a keen eye out for evidence to the contrary – the times you were strong, or kicked ass or were loved and desired.

TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHT: Any one who has done this, will agree it is indeed trying. We all know that motivation is bullsh*t, and it seems that sadly, according to author Benjamin Hardy, willpower is pretty pants too. He says the key thing to understand is ‘you are who you are because of your environment. Want to change? Then change your environment.‘ There have been loads of studies on choice architecture and it doesn’t take an idiot to realise, if there are packets of chocolate digestives on hand, they WILL get eaten. However, it is worth remembering that eating off smaller plates actually works (thanks to a clever thing called the Delboeuf Illusion), as does eating off plates that contrast in colour to the food (don’t eat red spaghetti off a red plate, my friend, or you might scoff 30% more). Never shop when you’re hungry, try and prep your meals and prepare for calorific hiccups along the way. Another clever trick I learnt from James Clear, is simply to change your wording around temptation. Instead of saying, ‘I can’t eat X’, say, ‘I don’t eat X’. Because, ‘every time you tell yourself “I can’t”, you’re creating a feedback loop that is a reminder of your limitations.’

And a feedback loop is exactly what I am tempted to do between the kitchen and bedroom, until every damn one of those digestives has been…….digested!

This GET HEALTHIER post is brought to you by someone who has discovered that tea is actually a gateway drug to biscuits.